Monthly Archives: January 2017

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What Are You Measuring?

This week’s post is based on a blog post by Seth Godin: Numbers (and the magic of measuring the right thing). I encourage you to read it first if you have time. 

In a business setting, we are trained to know what numbers are important to the business. But what about in our personal lives? What numbers do you measure…and judge yourself by?

Some of these numbers might stare you down. Some of these numbers are easy to obsess over. It’s easy to mix these numbers up into our identity, and to feel that they define us. But often, it’s the numbers that don’t define us, which we neglect or decide we’ll think about later, which will prompt our growth.

Here’s a list of possible numbers:

  • # of dollars in your paycheck
  • # of hours of sleep you got in a night
  • # of books you’ve read this year
  • # of close friends you have
  • # of times you’ve visited the gym this week
  • # of cups of coffee you’ve had today
  • # of minutes spent on Facebook/Twitter
  • # of dollars of debt you have
  • # of dollars in savings you have
  • # of hours you’ve been away from home today (or at home today)
  • # of lbs you weigh
  • # of points in your GPA
  • # of min/sec in your fastest performance
  • # of wins/losses in your team’s record
  • # of dollars you’ve given to charity
  • # of dollars you’ve spent on ______

If these numbers are going to serve us, we need to focus on how the numbers are changing, not the static number and how it makes us feel. When we start feeling sorry for ourselves–or alternatively, when we feel that we’ve arrived and are seemingly invincible–we are saying to ourselves that the number is set. There’s nothing that will change it. This way of thinking isn’t accurate, nor is it helpful for our growth.

Numbers are a tool. Don’t be mastered by them and don’t be too comfortable with them. Don’t let them define you. But do think about what you’re measuring, and how those numbers can encourage you to make the choices you know are best for you.

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On Speaking Up

It’s easy to give lip service to speaking up, being a truth-teller, and standing up for what you believe in. It’s much harder to actually do it.

Speaking up has implications for this political moment in history, but it’s also important to the health of our personal and professional lives. It’s an important part of being an authentic leader.

When an opportunity presents itself for me to speak up, I often hold back. I wait, thinking over what I should do and if I’m actually going to do it. And if you wait long enough, the pressure to share diminishes. The moment passes. You’re safe from whatever consequences would have come from speaking up.

But what if things blow up? If you anticipated the explosion but didn’t say anything, you’ll have to live with the guilt of knowing you could have done something to stop it.

What’s at the heart of this reticence? What is it that holds me (and perhaps you, too) back?

Here’s my self-diagnosis:

  • I give other people too much credit. I assume that they see the holes I’m carefully avoiding, anticipate the pitfalls I’m seeing in the distance. I assume that they will make good decisions.
  • I have little faith in the power of an individual (especially when that individual is me.) Change seems so massive and complicated that I doubt my contribution will make a difference.
  • I fear the scrutiny and attention that will come if I speak up. This includes being thought of as jumping on the band wagon, or taking a stance that is later shown to be flawed, or revealing my bias, privilege or inexperience in some way.

The truth? The truth is that we’re all human. And that’s at the heart of each of these counter-points to the conditions I listed above.

  • Giving people too much credit. Just because someone has more power or responsibility or experience does not mean that they can make perfect decisions. There is no perfect decision. And if the people making decisions in our society don’t hear from us, they will not have the opportunity to take our perspectives into consideration.
  • Not believing in the power of an individual. Think about ways in which you have been influenced and moments you experienced personal growth. More than likely, there was a person who encouraged you to see the world (and yourself) in a different way. Parents, friends, coaches, authors, bosses. Even Facebook friends. You have an opportunity to be that person. To encourage growth in the people and organizations around you.
  • Holding back due to a fear of scrutiny. The saying that “no one thinks about you as much as you do” is true. Being reserved and not sharing your vision will inspire no one. Humility is important, and how you speak up does matter. But if your idea or delivery is flawed, it’s valuable to realize that. You’ll miss out on this feedback if you don’t speak up.

Speaking up is hard to do — whether you’re sharing your ideas with your co-workers, family members, or community. But they need you to help them grow. And you need them to help you grow.

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You have just as much time as everyone else

We each get 24 hours in a day. If you are breathing this morning, you have been given the same allotment of time as the most successful CEO, the busiest policy-maker, the children going to school in your neighborhood.

This isn’t a new idea. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, just as I have. But it struck me in a fresh way today.

It can be easy to look at someone else’s life, whether they’re a public figure, your co-worker, classmate, or Facebook friend and to think “Look at everything they manage to do!” We ascribe super-human powers to that individual, who, from our view, seems to have accomplished so much more than we ever could.

The truth is, they have just as much time as we have. I want to keep saying that, over and over and over again. We all have the same amount of time. We all have the same amount of time. We all have the same amount of time.

Some people have managed to use their time more efficiently than you, certainly. Learn from them.

Some people have managed to find ways to spend their time that bring them peace and joy and fullness. Seek those things for your own life.

Some people have disciplined themselves to take care of their minds and bodies, even when it’s not what they want to do in the moment. Be inspired by their example.

It’s so easy to fall into self-pity, anxiousness and hand-wringing. But don’t waste your time or headspace on those things. Instead, figure out how to spend the next hour in the most meaningful way possible. Then do it.

In fact, an hour is being generous — take 60 seconds to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on your breath. Sip your coffee more slowly, savoring the warmth. Give a loved one a hug and don’t let go right away. Simple actions like these can help put the stress in perspective and release the tension you’re holding.

We’re all trying to be the best humans we can be. Don’t beat yourself up when you feel like other people are doing a better job than you. We’re all given the same amount of time in each day.