Monthly Archives: October 2016

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To the Leader Who Feels Afraid

Leadership is not for the faint of heart. It’s easy to look at people in leadership in our own lives, and critique them, be jealous of them, or even think that what they’re doing isn’t that hard and we could do it just as well. But then you find yourself in that place of leadership. And suddenly it’s not so easy.

The next step is often not clear. Even if the “what” is clear, the “how” might not be. Often being a leader means being the one to figure out this thing that no one yet knows how to do. Being a trailblazer. And while some leaders make it seem like they love blazing trails — and maybe they actually do — you might not be that kind of leader. I know I’m not.

I’m the kind of leader who appreciates good leadership when I see it. I don’t have to be in charge nor do I often want to be. And yet, we need leaders in our world. We need people who will care enough about their communities, companies and families that they will volunteer to take on the responsibility of leadership. People who are willing to be vulnerable and put themselves in a situation in which they might fail.

It’s a privilege to have the power to make decisions. But with that privilege comes responsibility. Leadership  means saying, “I’ll make the tough decision that needs to be made here, I will stick around to see the consequences that result, and I will be responsible for handling the new situation, as well.”

There’s moments of leadership that are glamorous. There’s recognition, there’s pride in telling people your role and joy in talking about your passion for the cause. There’s (hopefully) the exhilaration of success. But the excitement is fleeting.

Quickly the excitement passes, and you have to get back to work. A new problem arises or circumstances change or there’s simply ongoing tasks that must be done. You realize that just because you were successful in the past doesn’t guarantee you will be successful now. There are no guarantees.

That no-guarantee policy–that risk–is what you take on when you lead. It can be daunting to take on that risk. And yet we need people to do it.

There are tough decisions needing to be made, problems that need solving and solutions that need testing. Will you be brave enough to go first? Will you care enough to get out of your comfort zone? Will you put in the time it takes to create something new?

 

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A Whole Mess of Indifference Curves

Living Your Optimum Life

Indifference curves? What are those? And why do I care what I’m indifferent to?

If you read the title of this post, you might be thinking that this is not the typical way people talk about living their optimum life. But I have four weeks of Economics under my belt, and these are the new ways I’m looking at the world around me.

You’ve probably heard the term “Supply and Demand”. When talking about living your optimum life, supply is anything you can spend your time doing (e.g. sleeping, working, watching TV.) Demand is how much time you want to spend doing those things.

Supply is based on where you live, whether you have an Internet connection, what kind of transportation you have access to, etc. Supply tends to be set by bigger, one-time choices (which may or may not be in your control.)

Demand is different. It’s based on preferences (e.g. what do I want to do?), income (e.g. how much time do I have?) and prices (e.g. how much time does it take to do each thing?).

Our time is limited. I might want to exercise, study and finish a task at work. But when it’s 5pm and I have class starting at 6pm, I can’t spend time doing all of those things, especially not to the full extent that I would wish to. My choice about how to spend that hour reveals how important each activity is to me.

So what do indifference curves have to do with this? An indifference curve is a line that shows the many different points at which I would feel satisfied with the choice I made. So if I had 2 hours instead of 1, what activities would I spend my time doing? What if I had 3 hours?

Ideally, there is consistency in my preferences as the amount of time I have to spend changes. So often, however, there’s not consistency. That’s where the messiness comes in. I think that exercise is important, so I choose that over studying. Then I feel I’ve not allotted enough time to studying, so I cut down on exercise. Satisfaction feels elusive.

My encouragement to you is this: don’t get overwhelmed by the messiness. Don’t get discouraged or frustrated when you feel unsatisfied. Your preferences will always be changing — it’s part of being human. We’re wired to change, evolve and grow.

And the next time you hear that inner voice, telling you that you’ve been spending too much time on one activity and neglecting another, listen. It’s your soul’s way of prodding you to change your behavior and come closer to living your optimum life.

 

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Expect Surprises

On my drive in to the city this morning, I listened to my first episode of Krista Tippet’s radio show/podcast, On Being. Specifically, I listened to her interview with Paulo Coelho, titled Paulo Coelho — The Alchemy of Pilgrimage.

Coelho describes each day as a pilgrimage, a journey of discovery. He shares that if he knew what to expect from his day when it begins, life would be boring. On pilgrimage, you meet people and share conversation. You are going on your own journey of discovery, but along the way you meet other people on their own journeys, and you become part of each others’ stories.

That was my experience this morning. I came to a bagel & coffee shop near my work. A mom and two kids came in. They sat near me, and the kids started talking to me. Instead of simply being polite and then putting my head phones back in (kids don’t see headphones as a barrier to conversation), I became present in the interaction. I opened myself up to be surprised.

And what transpired was a special moment of seeing into the world of a curious 6-year-old boy. I witnessed the joy of learning and field trips and the daily schedule of school. He asked me what I was doing, and I said I was writing a blog post for my website. I talked with his mom, telling her I worked nearby. He asked where I worked, and I pulled up Sporcle.com.

I asked what his favorite movie was, hoping to find a quiz we could play together. He said he liked the Kratts brothers. I found this quiz that we played. He knew all the answers. His mom mentioned a test at school that he’d be taking later this year. It would be on the computer. She wondered if our site had educational resources like that on it. I told her probably not. Most of our content is more ‘fun’.

This boy and I played more quizzes. His mom had a chance to focus on her other child. Then they left, and I started writing this blog post.

This isn’t the Friday morning I expected. But I’m entering into this day with greater peace and a sense of wonder. I feel more connected to my city and the people here. Just because I opened myself up to an invitation from a 6-year-old boy.

You will be offered an invitation today, in some form or another. Will you accept?

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Social Capital & the Desire for Deep Relationships

I recently created a leadership plan. It was the main assignment due after a weekend-long class on leadership, and I was brimming with ideas about how I could become a better leader.

As I jotted down ideas for new habits I wanted form, regular habits I wanted to solidify, and the ways I wanted to grow as a leader, a common theme emerged: Improve the relationships in the various spheres of my life.

This desire, you could even call it a yearning, for better relationships came into sharp focus when I realized that an attribute of good leaders is being relational. In other words, part of being a good leader is connecting with others.

Having good relationships shouldn’t be viewed as a moral or professional obligation. It’s not about checking a box. Though this may sound counterintuitive, it’s about improving yourself.

The network of people you connect with is called your social capital. It’s the people you know and with whom you regularly interact with. Led by our natural inclinations, we’ll connect with people who are like us. It’s easier to relate to them. But the more we limit ourselves to connecting with people like us, the more homogenous our network becomes.

Where we grow the most is when we are in relationship with people who are different than us. These are the people who challenge us to see things in a different way: be it a project at work, a change in the community where we live, or a new trend in pop culture. These are the people who will make us better leaders, because we’ll learn new ways of doing things.

One way to deepen these relationships is to talk about topics that are outside of your shared basis for knowing one another. You may find that the co-worker who seems so similar to you actually is quite different from you when the conversation shifts from work to hobbies. Another way is to reach out to contacts you don’t know too well, but who you want to know better. Ask them about themselves and be prepared to listen and learn from them.

Having good relationships affects your ability to lead. And improving your relationships will make you a better leader.

How will you improve the relationships in your life?