Monthly Archives: January 2016

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On Friendship: 3 Ways to Share Wins & Losses with Your Friends

Moving into a new stage of life can be exhilarating, overwhelming, and a lot to take in. A great way to learn from your mistakes and cherish your successes, is to talk through those experiences with a close friend.

Photo Credit: Death to Stock

Photo Credit: Death to Stock

My most cherished friendships are characterized by honesty and straight-forward conversation. These are peers I look up to, regularly learn from, and with whom I feel comfortable speaking openly. They have given me ideas of how to improve my life and my relationships. They’ve made me feel loved. And they’ve walked with me through seasons of discouragement and joy, tough decisions and renewed purpose.

Most of them live nearby, but some live far away. It’s energizing to have an in-person, heart-to-heart with a friend. But an intentional phone call or skype chat can be equally enriching (so don’t let distance be an excuse!)

Does no one come to mind as good friend? You may need to cultivate or deepen an existing friendship before launching into the open conversation I’m advocating here. And that’s fine. You don’t want to rush this relationship. But you also shouldn’t sit back and wait for it to develop on its own. Because in essence, ‘waiting for it to develop on its own’ means waiting for the other person to open up first. And maybe the other person is waiting for you!

So, how do you do it? Some basic truths of friendship apply here, with added factors to keep in mind.

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Don’t Leave Yet (3 Benefits of Staying Where You Are)

No one wants to get stuck. But we also crave a sense of belonging. We all want to be the hero of our own story, a story we can take pride in telling. It turns out, the backdrop of your life doesn’t have to change in order to begin a new chapter.

Photo Credit: picjumbo

Photo Credit: picjumbo

Growing up, I wanted to take advantage of a variety of experiences. During college, I spent each summer in a different location, with a different job, working with a different group of people. These experiences were rich, but they were also isolated. They didn’t build on one another.

I made a mindset shift when graduating college. Instead of moving to a new place, I chose to stay in Seattle. Instead of prioritizing experiences, I prioritized relationships.

My goal was to spend my first year out of college living with good friends, navigating our new stage of life in a thoughtful way. I wasn’t worried about finding the right job. I was worried about finding an apartment and friends to live with. But once those pieces were in place, I realized I had the support system to go for opportunities I might have been afraid to pursue otherwise.

It’s easier to get outside of your comfort zone when you have a strong support system. Even if you move far away from friends and family, staying in regular contact with them can do a lot to give you the confidence and drive to keep pushing forward. It’s draining to be outside your comfort zone. And when the rest of your world is comfortable and settled, it can be easier to cope with the stress and anxiety that comes with finding/pursuing a career.

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You Don’t Have to Be Intimidated (Tips for Confident Conversations)

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to be so at ease at work? Or with their superiors? Do you wonder how that’s possible?

First off, I’ll tell you that it’s possible to be freaking out on the inside, while looking cool as a cucumber on the outside.

And it’s important to figure out how to manage the internal freaking out because, if you want to move up — whether you’re applying for a job, striving for a promotion, or looking to network — you’ll need to have conversations with people that are more powerful than you.

Photo Credit: Death to Stock Photo

Photo Credit: Death to Stock Photo

My first year out of college, I got a part-time job at an amazing company. I knew there was the possibility of a full-time job, but I also knew that there was a high-bar for full-time employees. If I wanted to brought onto the full-time team, I’d need to prove myself incredibly valuable. But I’d also need to give the company a strong sense that I would make it in the big leagues. That I could handle the pressure. In other words, I needed to fit the part.

So even though it made me nervous, I made a point to start talking to the other full-time employees at the company. Each Wednesday a group of them walked to a nearby food truck to pick up lunch. I stopped bringing my lunch on those days, and I joined them. I listened in on their conversations. I asked questions to get to know them better.

As much as I enjoyed getting to know them, it was also a chance for them to get to know me. First, for them to remember my name. Then for them to include me in conversations about upcoming features, news about what was going on in other parts of the company, and simple conversations about life in our city.

You’ve probably heard the advice ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have.’ This advice carries over to your behavior: Behave like you’re in the job you want, not the job you have. For me, this meant having an attitude of professionalism about my work, being interested in what was going on in the company beyond my own responsibilities, and acting like I belonged in the social circle of my co-workers.

If you’re like me, acting this way won’t feel natural. But that’s okay! Treat it like a project, knowing that it is an important stepping stone to your success. Here are 3 things to remember, which will help take the fear factor out of acting the part. 

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How to Pursue Your Dream Job While Still Paying the Bills

There’s so much pressure these days to find a fulfilling career, one that satisfies you, taps into your passion and gifts. But you may not be qualified for that job right away. How do you put yourself on the path to your dream job, while still making ends meet in the waiting period?

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Photo Credit: Death to Stock Photo

Here’s how this question played out in my life.

I was about to graduate from college, itching to prove myself in the ‘real world.’ My intent was to find a full-time job. But when I heard about openings at Sporcle.com, a trivia website I’d turned my family members on to, my brother insisted I apply —  if only for the cool factor.

The position I interviewed for was 20 hours per week, minimum wage. It was guaranteed through the end of the summer. Objectively, it wasn’t the job I was looking for. But the people who interviewed me were thoughtful and energetic. And as an English major, I would have the opportunity to write blog posts, curate content, and write web copy. I knew it was an opportunity I couldn’t afford to pass up.

I worked there for the summer, with increased hours and responsibilities in the fall. Also in the fall, I became a nanny for an elementary school child. I worked early mornings and late afternoons at the nanny job, and spent my daytime hours at Sporcle. This arrangement allowed me to gain valuable experience at Sporcle, developing myself into a candidate for full-time work in the web industry. And yet I also was making good money in childcare, a satisfying job experience in its own right.

A little over a year after starting at Sporcle, I was offered a full-time position. My dream job. I’d reached a point where I was ready to be working full-time in that industry, and if a position hadn’t opened up at Sporcle, I was preparing to look for full-time employment elsewhere. But what a rich year it was. I wouldn’t have traded the experience for anything.

Here’s what it comes down to. Just because your job isn’t full-time doesn’t make it less valuable. If you treat that part-time gig in a professional way, you will gain valuable experience which can make you a qualified candidate for your dream job.

Here are 3 ways to pursue your dream job while still paying the bills: